


The Washing Machine

by AdrianaintheSnow



Series: Inappropriate Activities in the Pond House [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Fluff, Inappropriate activities on a washing machine, Older Doctor, Smut, Student River
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9115840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaintheSnow/pseuds/AdrianaintheSnow
Summary: Every time The Doctor brings a River Song who is still a university student to her parents house, he gets the same lecture. No sex on communal seating areas, dinning areas, or washing machines. Well, it is his duty as a Timelord to keep the timelines in order.





	

The Doctor huddled behind a bush, peering through the branches as best he could. His legs were starting to cramp from their awkward position and he could no longer feel his buttock. He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than when it had been freezing when he’d first sat down in the pile of snow a few minutes ago.

 

He’d thought this was a perfect hiding place. He would be hard to make out behind the branches of the bush as long as he stayed still and could (theoretically) follow any movement that happened on the other side of it.

 

He had vastly underestimated his opponent.

 

In the past ten minutes, he had yet to see or hear anything other than the little white bird hopping around a few feet away. This had been a bad decision.

 

As if the world wanted to prove just how bad this decision had been, he felt a hand pull the back of his coat away from his skin. Before he could react, there was a handful of snow sliding down his back.

 

“Ugh!” he spun around to see her trying to run away. He lunged at her, tackling her into a snowbank. They struggled for a moment before he managed to pin her wrists to the snow covered ground. She continued to wiggle under him for a few moments before finally giving up and glaring at him. “That was very mean, River Song,” he scolded.

 

“You started it,” she pointed out just a hint of sulkiness in her voice.

 

“True,” he conceded. He shifted so he could hold both of her wrists down with one hand and picked up as much snow as he could with his free one. “How do you think I should end it?”

 

“Don’t even think about it.”

 

He flicked his wrist so a clump of snow would fall onto her neck. “How are you going to stop me?” he teased.

 

She suddenly leaned forward to kiss him. He faltered at the feel of her lips against his. His entire weight was supported by one arm, and, between his distraction and his inherit clumsiness, he ended up tumbling to the side. She pressed her advantage, turning his fall into a roll so he ended up on his back with her on top of him. Unlike him, she didn’t make the mistake of hesitating before slamming a handful of snow into his face.

 

“Blech! River!”

 

“I win,” she told him. When he hesitated too long before agreeing with her, he got another handful of snow in his face. “I. Win.” She repeated.

 

“Yes, yes, you win, fine!” he agreed spitting out a mouthful of snow. She rolled off him.

 

He sat up, attempting to rub warmth back into his face. She giggled next to him and he gave her a wounded look. She laughed louder.

 

“Okay, I think that’s enough snow activities for today,” he stated.

 

“Are you sure, Sweetie?” she asked. “You don’t want to make snow angles or another disaster of a snowman?”

 

“One, his name is Gerald and he’s not a disaster. Two, I’m sure you’re freezing by now and I don’t want you to get sick.”

 

“Oh, I’m freezing?” she asked watching him try not to shiver, “are you sure it’s not you who’s freezing?”

 

“I’ll have you know that my superior biology makes me not feel the cold as much as a human, even a genetically enhanced human.”

 

“I’m sure.” Before he could comment on her tone, she hopped to her feet and offered him her hand.

 

 

 

Amy was sitting at the kitchen table writing when the couple entered the house. “What on Earth did you two do?” she asked taking in their soaked appearances.

 

“Apparently, your daughter is just as competitive at snowball fights as everything else,” The Doctor told her.

 

“Well I could have told you that,” Amy told him. “Remember when you broke Kyle’s arm?”

 

“He deserved it,” River said with a hair toss that would have been a lot more effective if most of her hair wasn’t plastered to her head. “And he never tried to pick on you or Rory again.”

 

“He was 6 and he’s probably still having nightmares about snow.”

 

River shrugged completely unrepentant.

 

“Yes, well, thanks for the warning, Pond,” The Doctor grumbled.

 

“In my defense, he started it,” River told Amy.

 

“You should have known better,” Amy told The Doctor, “Remember laser tag?”

 

“That was guns! I expect it with guns. This was snow!” he exclaimed and then shivered a bit.

 

Amy eyed him. “It’s something that can be used as a weapon,” she explained slowly. “Now go get changed before you catch some Timelord cold or something. You have to be freezing in those soaked clothes. And they’re all muddy so put them in the wash for me. I’ll put the kettle on.”

 

“Alright,” River nodded, “but first,” she opened her arms, walking around the table, “hug?”

 

Amy was off her seat before the last word was out of her daughter’s mouth. “Don’t you dare.”

 

“But, Mommy,” she said chasing her mother out of the room.

 

“River Song,” Amy warned. The Doctor listened to the sounds of his future wife cornering her mother in the sitting room. Finally, there was a shriek. “Melody Pond!”

 

River loped back into the kitchen, obviously very pleased with herself and grabbed his arm. He let her tow him into the laundry room. There was a load of towels in the dryer and River set about taking them out. “Could you get the laundry soap, Sweetie?” she asked.

 

“Sure,” he agreed, turning to the small closet that the Ponds kept their laundry supplies in. There was soap on the first shelf, but he wondered if they had any of his favorite soap around and dug through the closet a bit. “Aha!” he exclaimed. “I knew I left some of the sugar cookie detergent from Delta 6 here!” He turned around to show off his prize, but froze immediately. “You’re not wearing clothes.”

 

“Hmmm, well, I have to take my clothes off to get into dry ones,” she pointed out, casually stuffing her wet clothing into the washer without any thought of covering herself.

 

“Yes, but- but you…” he stammered. She batted her eyes in that innocent way she always did before doing something particularly shameless. She leaned back against the washer, looking as though she had no care in the world. This was a trick. A dirty, dirty trick to get him to have sex with her in her parent’s house. Younger him would have fallen for it.

 

Younger him would have cared.

 

“That seems completely logical,” he agreed, reaching up to untie the knot in the scarf around his neck. She tried to keep up the unaffected charade as he stripped off the top layer of his soaked clothing, but she wasn’t as practiced as she would be later in her life.

 

“You’re still wearing a bowtie?” she giggled.

 

“Bowties are cool,” he insisted, untying the mentioned object. “You will come to respect the bowtie.”

 

“I’d say ‘spoilers,’ but I doubt that’s true,” she said, her eyes following his hands as he removed the bowtie and dropped it on top of his winter coat. Little did she know… He smirked at her and he could swear the red tinge to her cheeks was not only due to the cold. She was so bloody young, he thought. He really should be setting a better example for her, but, in his defense, no one had given him any rules this visit. Most of the time when he showed up with a River who was this young, her parents would lecture him. ‘No communal seating areas, no dining areas, and no washing machines,’ he could hear Pond’s voice in his head. He’d heard it a million times by now. His eyes drifted toward the machine his not-yet-wife was leaning against. Well, he really had a duty to keep the timelines in order. He went ahead and dropped his underwear with his trousers.

 

She looked at him for a moment before grabbing one of the towels in the basket next to her. She wandered up to him and put it around his shoulders, keeping her hands on his biceps. It was still warm from the dryer, he noted. She bit her lip, looking up at him. “Is there something you wanted, River Song?” he asked in a low voice. She swallowed a bit. “Hmm?” he asked moving forward so she took a step back. He grinned continuing to press forward until her legs hit the washing machine.

 

Their eyes met for a moment before he leaned forward to give her a gentle kiss on the lips. She gave a soft little sigh and reached up to put her hands in his hair, the towel falling forgotten to the floor. “What do you want River?” he asked pulling back a bit. She didn’t answer, just yanked on his hair so she could kiss him again. Not very articulate in her young age. “Hmm. My choice I guess,” he said against her lips. He grabbed her waist and hoisted her up so she was seated on the washing machine.

 

She made a surprised sound, which quickly turned into a hum when he kissed her again. “Doctor,” she murmured as he nudged her legs apart so he could stand between them. He liked that the word was already breathless when he hadn’t even snogged her properly yet. He set about rectifying that immediately, one hand on the back of her neck to keep her close and the other starting to wander. The little sound she made when he ghosted a finger over her nipple made him smirk a bit. His lips left hers to travel down her neck. There were no hickeys on her neck, which was an outrage honestly. He sucked hard on a spot right above her collarbone reveling in way her breath hitched a bit. She moaned when his second hand joined his first, cupping her breasts and flicking his thumb over both nipples. When he was pleased with his work on her neck, he moved lower, bending to lick at her collarbone. He felt her fingers twitch in his hair.

 

He moved back a bit and shoved gently at her shoulders. She willingly let herself be pushed onto her back on top of the washing machine. Her fingers reached toward him and he caught her wrist. “Not today, River Song,” he stated. He took her other wrist and pinned both to her side. “I’ve got plans for you.”

 

She squirmed a bit against him. “I-”

 

He waited for a moment to see if she would continue. “Very articulate, dear,” he commented, pressing a kiss to the skin right below her bellybutton. Her wrists tensed up under his palms and she made an unhappy huff that told him he was about to get an earful if he didn’t distract her from that quip quickly. He pressed another kiss a bit lower than the first and then one a bit lower than that. Apparently, she decided letting it go was more beneficial for her for the moment because she relaxed under him again. Grinning, he continued to trail kisses lower and lower until she tensed back up for an entirely different reason.

 

He softly brushed his lips over her clit a few times until he felt her start to twitch a bit in what he knew was annoyance. River was not particularly patient when it came to her own pleasure, especially when she was young. Deciding to give her what she wanted, he sucked the bundle of nerves between his lips applying just a touch of teeth. She jerked and yelped a bit too loudly for one of her parents being in the next room. She swallowed the sound halfway through and probably thought he’d pause for a moment to see if they could hear any footsteps coming to investigate.

 

Instead, he pressed forward, giving her a harsh lick. She gave a strangled moan. “Fuck you,” she whispered as he explored her folds with his tongue, brushing her clit with his nose. He heard the soft metallic sound that was probably her head hitting the top of the washer before her legs came up to rest on his shoulders. He teased his tongue over her entrance before slipping it inside. She was doing a commendable job at being quiet, limiting herself to gasps and harsh exhales where normally she’d be halfway to screaming by now.

 

It only took a few minutes before he felt her start to tense up. He slowed down. “Doctor,” she whispered frustrated, squirming and pulling at her arms.

 

“Shush,” he admonished, kissing the inside of her thigh. He gentled his hold on her wrists and rubbed circles on her pulse point with his thumb. She fidgeted unhappily. He looked up at her. “You’re so impatient.”

 

Her eyes narrowed. “I’ll show you impatient,” she groused. She pulled her arms out of his grip and knitted her fingers into his hair. She pushed his head back toward where it had been before and he willingly went with a chuckle. She yanked on his hair and he obediently went back to work on her until she was gasping his name. After all the years he’d spent married to her, he knew she was getting close.

 

“Oh, my god! My eyes!” a voice yelled from behind them. Right on time.

 

“Mother!” River shoved him away from her, pulling his hair a bit.

 

“Ow!” he protested, rubbing his head. She just glared at him, grabbed a towel out of the basket on the ground, and threw it at him before wrapping herself up in another. The towels were no longer warm, he noted.

 

“Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god,” Amy continued to chant, her hands over her eyes.

 

“We, uh, both have towels now,” River said, her cheeks an interesting shade of red The Doctor had never seen before. It suited her.

 

The Doctor schooled his features so he looked appropriately repentant and embarrassed when Amy turned around. It was a good thing River wasn’t older or she’d see straight through him.

 

Amy peeked through her fingers. “We need to have a discussion,” she told them, slowly letting her hands slid down her face. “But first. I’m going to need some brandy. And you two need to put on clothing. In separate rooms.” She took a few steps forward to grab River’s arm. “Come on, you’re going to your room.” River didn’t even protest, but simply followed her mother, more mortified than he’d ever seen her.

 

When he was sure they were out of earshot, he chuckled a bit and patted the washing machine fondly before walking off in search of dry clothing.

 

 

 

“First of all, we are not telling your father,” Amy told River. The Doctor and River were seated on separate chairs with a good three feet between them. The Doctor sat with his hands folded in his lap and eyes downcast like a remorseful schoolboy. River was shifting around uncomfortably, very much not like a schoolchild. He didn’t have to wonder why. He was pretty sure Amy stood outside her bedroom door while she got dressed. “Second of all, ground rules,” Amy continued, oblivious to or ignoring her daughter’s discomfort. “To be honest, knowing two versions of you,” she eyed River, “I know I’m not going to get you to not have sex in my house,” she said, “but, for my sanity and his,” she pointed a thumb at The Doctor, “continued existence if your father is home, we are going to have to have some rules.” Both he and River nodded. “Alright. So, no communal seating areas, no dining areas, and for gods sake no washing machines.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
